Trade Mistakes
by goldfish400
Summary: Based on a prompt I recieved on Tumblr. Moana wakes in the middle of the night to discover Maui asking the Gods for the one thing she never thought he'd ever ask for.


When Moana finds herself awake in the middle of the night, be it the results of a nightmare or a bad case of insomnia, she always finds herself walking down to the shore.

Okay, so maybe that's not the best idea. She knows, realistically, that she should probably find someone to talk to when she wakes up in the middle of the night instead of wandering the shore or the Cavern of the Ancestors trying to tire herself out. But the ocean's always so welcoming, and it always slinks beside her when she wanders up and down the shore. It listens to her when she complains, providing her someone to go to when everyone else she would go to first is asleep. And the Cavern is so cooling, so refreshing, and the distant sounds of her ancestors whispering and singing to her always manage to rock her back to sleep like some sort of ancient lullaby. Moana's lost count of how many times she's woken up in the Cavern with little memory of entering at all.

Which is why, not to her surprise, when Moana jolts upwards from a nightmare, she finds herself rising to her feet before she even has time to shake the rest of the nightmare away. She blinks a few times, to readjust her eyes to the darkness of her _fale,_ and scrubs her hands down her face as she shakes the nightmare from her vision. Once she's sure it's gone, she steps outside and immediately takes a sharp turn to cut through the trees to the shore, yawning.

It's not until she's about halfway down to the shore that she thinks she can make out the muffled sound of another voice. Moana turns, to look for the source, and when she does she realizes it's coming from the direction of the little cove she and Maui usually seek out when they want to stargaze. Frowning, she follows the source, and as she gets closer and as the voice gets louder she realizes that yes, that is without a doubt Maui's voice.

And he sounds...upset?

Oh no.

Immediately disregarding her own reason for wandering through the woods in the middle of the night, Moana sprints forward, towards the direction of the shore, and then she takes a few sharp turns until she comes across the path to their little cove. Before she even reaches the sand at the end of the trail, she can already make out Maui sitting in the center, leaning back on his hands and staring up the stars. Moana frowns, and takes a step closer, and as she does she realizes that Maui's talking upwards, like he's speaking to the stars themselves, but before she can step out in the open to ask him what he's doing a thought comes to her that has her stopping in her tracks.

Is he...praying?

No, that can't be it, Moana tells herself firmly. Maui's not the kind of person who would. He's not all that great when it comes to asking for aid, he even still has difficulty asking for it from her, and if he has difficulty asking from help from _her_ there's no way asking for help from the _gods_ would be much easier. Not to mention the fact that they raised him from childhood, which makes it difficult for him to view them as these all-powerful beings you're supposed to pray to in the first place. He's not even kneeling. He's just kind of sitting there, the same way he would if she were right beside him.

But then she thinks she can hear him whisper something about _Te Fiti,_ and his voice cracks the tiniest bit when he says her name, and Moana realizes abruptly that he _is_ in fact praying, and if _he's_ praying then there must be something really wrong. Moana's frown deepens, and forcing down the panic starting to ebb its way through her chest as well as her urge to rush forward and sit beside him to ask what's wrong, Moana approaches the cove, slowly, and hides behind one of the trees that's half on the cove and half on the path to try to make out what he's saying.

"...even the ones on the front, y'know, the good ones" He's saying, and Moana takes a half-step backwards when she realizes his voice is wavering. "Because-because if you just took the bad ones away and left the good ones, it'll-it'll come off as selfish. Like I don't think about them at all" Maui's saying, and he sits up a bit more at his next sentence.

"But I do, Te Fiti, I do, and I'm maybe starting to think it was a little cruel on your part to spell them all out on my back". Maui laughs, and it's almost a bitter sound, and it's just hitting Moana now that he must be talking about his tattoos. But why would he be talking to Te Fiti about his tattoos-

"So, I figured, if I'm already going to have the bad ones removed, why don't you just do me a favor and-" he pauses. "Remove them all. Even the ones on my chest. The positive ones." Maui says, tilting his head up a bit more towards the stars, and Moana's all about ready to emerge from the trees to say something when he continues on.

"Why?" Maui asks, like Te Fiti's responding back to him, but even from where she stands Moana can see that he's mostly asking himself. "Because-because they all make me seem like I'm a good person" He mumbles. "All these _special feats_ that I've done for good, because I'm a good person, because I'm helpful, because…" he trails off, and drops his head down to the shore. "I'm all these things I've got tattoos to prove I'm not." he mutters, and at this point Moana's stuck between emerging out to help him or slinking back to the village to leave him alone because the way Maui's talking makes it clear to Moana that this isn't the first time he's thought about this before.

Ahead of her, Maui continues on, pulling Moana from her thoughts.

"You can even take Mini Maui" he whispers. "What good is having someone to talk to when it's just a smaller version of yourself? When you're trying to think of someone...other than yourself, and when you look down the first thing you, staring right back up at you anyways?"

There's a pause then, too long for Moana's comfort. "You can-" he starts, but drops off. "You can even-even" he tries, but drops off again, like even _thinking_ about saying this next thought hurts him, and when it suddenly hits Moana what he must be thinking her feet sort of act before her mind does and she finds herself half-walking, half-jogging over to him as she emerges from her hiding spot behind the tree. Moana plants herself in front of him, but he doesn't seem to notice she's there. He's got his head bowed down towards the sand, and his eyes are squeezed shut as he takes a deep breath like he's forcing himself to try again. "You can even take-" he starts, but before he can finish his sentence Moana pushes herself closer to him and wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. Maui tenses instantly, but Moana does not care, she just pushes herself closer and holds on tighter.

Maui blinks his eyes open at the gesture and spares a glance down at her. "M-Moana," he stutters, and despite the surprise evident in his voice he wraps his arms around her to return her hug before he pulls away and places her gently back down on the sand. "How much of that did you-how long have you been-" Maui starts, and turns to glance behind him, but Moana reaching over and planting a hand on his knee has him turning his gaze back to her.

"I heard enough" she mumbles, temporarily dropping her gaze down to avoid his, and Maui sighs heavily when she finally pulls her head back up to meet it again.

"It's okay, Curly, really-" he tries to insist, reaching a hand to the back of his head. "I'm fine. Go-go back to sleep. It's no big deal"

Somehow his denial is only making Moana feel worse. "You're _not_ fine, Maui" she accuses, jabbing a finger in his direction, and he winces at her motion. She sighs quietly, and shakes her head before she turns to meet his gaze.

"You're _not_ fine" she repeats, softer this time. "You were praying, Maui, you _never_ do that-" she starts, but gets cut off when Maui reaches over and places a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Really, Moana, it's fine. I was just talking to Te Fiti, that's all, it's no big deal" he tries again, and Moana frowns as she reaches up and pushes his hand away from her shoulder. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and pushes herself closer to him before she says

"You asked her to take your tattoos away".

Maui flinches at her accusation, but then he sighs, and quietly scooches himself closer to her. "Yeah" he admits, and when he looks up and sees her frowning he tries to wave his hands around in the air to prevent her from cutting him off. "B-But Moana, you have to understand, I really was only asking about the ones on my back at first" He mutters. "Because- they hurt, Moana, you know that better than anybody, it-it hurts me to think about them and I-I lash out at people I care about because of them- when-when they ask about them too much" He briefly drops his head down at that, like he's apologizing. "They hurt me so much, Moana, they're-they're all my mistakes, what I did do and what I didn't do and I can't-" he pauses. "I can't deal with constantly having that kind of weight on my shoulders, Moana, because it feels like it's pushing down on me and I just wish-I just wish I could have some sort of relief from them." he says, and Moana frowns as she pushes herself closer to him again.

"But you _do_ , Maui" she insists, and places a gentle hand of her own on his arm. "None of the tattoos on your back matter because you have all these tattoos on your front that showcase how _good_ you are" she tries to insist. "All the tattoos on your chest, your arms, those are all reminders of all the good you've done for us" she smiles, a small smile, but when he doesn't return it with one of his own hers slips off her face entirely.

"That's the thing, though" he says. "Because then if I were to ask to have the ones on my back removed, but not my chest, what kind of person does that make me look like? Someone who brushes off his problems? Someone who didn't listen when he should've? I can't keep the good ones, Moana, I can't go back to being the person they think I am, I can't go back to that-" he pauses, catching himself to prevent himself from getting too lost in his own head. "I can't keep them, Moana, because they make me seem like I'm a good person, but I'm just-I'm _not,_ Moana, I'm _not_ a good person" he sighs, and Moana frowns.

"That's not true" She tells him, pushing closer to him still, and he shakes his head.

"I'm not-" he repeats, but Moana cuts him off by throwing her arms around him again.

"Maui, listen to me" she says, and doesn't wait for his arms to reciprocate her gesture before she continues. "You _are_ a good person" She insists, and squeezes him tighter. "You're the most selfless person I've ever met. You're caring, and you're kind, and you're always looking after me" Moana urges, and she pulls her head from where she'd buried it into his chest to look up at him. "If that doesn't make you a good person, Maui, I don't know what does" she smiles, and he blinks down at her for a few moments before he finally moves his arms around her to reciprocate her hug. He tugs her closer to him so she doesn't have to strain her neck so much to look up at him without having to pull away.

"But that's not- my _mistakes,_ Moana, they-"

"They're in the past" Moana shrugs, and pulls herself closer to him still. "The Maui who made those mistakes?" she says, and smiles. "That Maui wouldn't be sitting here with me in our stargazing spot. That Maui wouldn't be holding me so closely in his arms." Her smile widens, and she and snuggles closer to him in demonstration. "It doesn't matter what _that_ Maui did, because that's behind you. That's not who you are" she says, and leans forward to plant her head against his shoulder before she looks up at him, her grin growing wider still. "Your past does not define you, Maui. You _know_ who you are" she finishes, and for a long moment Maui just stares at her as her words seem to sink in.

But then recognition lights up his face, like he's realizing where he's heard her say those words before, and he starts laughing as he wraps more of his arms around her and impossibly pulls her even closer.

"Thank you, Moana" he says, and there's laughter mixed in with the genuineness in his voice. Moana rolls her eyes and hums a wordless reply, and she settles into him further, leaning against his chest and resting her head comfortably atop where Mini Moana waves, allowing her eyes to slip closed in sleepy contentment.


End file.
